Tuesday, November 24, 2009

This isn't goodbye.

You're leaving me. Slowly. Bit by bit. Day by day. You're good at goodbye's, it seems for your silent departure appears to come with such ease. Maybe our parting is just as sorrowful for you as it is for me but I'm much too afraid to ask. I guess I'll never know.

I worked very hard to get you. To keep you. But I guess deep down we both knew that we couldn't stay together forever. Something or someone would eventually get in the way. I think we always knew that our relationship would be touch and go. On again ,off again. You're fickle. You always have been and you always will be. The slightest move in the wrong direction and you're ready to flee. But I'm tenacious. And as soon as I felt the shift I would get to work and earn you back. I would do what I needed to do to keep you. But this time I know I've got to let you go. For now.

This is a good time for our break-up, I guess. I'm thinking about the upcoming holliday season. It will be nice not to have to give you a second thought as I'm enjoying my time with family, friends and the season's festivities. I won't be worried about how my actions could possibly hurt you. When I look back on last year I only remember the stress and guilt that you induced in me. Always questioning my actions and making me pay for it later. This year I am free of that. No limitations.



Of course, that's just me putting on a strong facade. I will miss you terribly. I don't like who I am without you. You make me feel good about myself. You keep me in line. You motivate me to be better. You give me confidence. With you in my life I enjoy getting ready to face each new day. Now that you're leaving I dread even getting dressed each new day.


There is another relationship here that is more important than ours, though. I have to remember that. There is someone else that needs my nurturing. My love. My attention. And I know this someone will not be the flight risk that you've always been. This new someone will be here to stay. Will love me forever. No matter my faults. No matter my weaknesses. That is something that I need right now. I think you understand all this even better than I do. Which is why you are leaving without a fuss. Which makes me love you even more.



But be warned. I do intend to earn you back. This is just a temporary thing. I kow that you can never stray too far from me. I will always know where to find you. And when I do you will have no hope of resisitng me. Go free. Enjoy the time away. Because once I get you back, you're never going anywhere again.



So goodbye for now, Waistline. I'll miss you. See you next year!

6 comments:

Eric and Lydia said...

jeez, tiff, you scared me to death. not funny.

but i am SO jealous that you can (and should) eat whatever you want over the holidays. I'm making pumpkin whoopie-pies (my friend Bekka told me that's what my pumpkin bread recipe turned sandwich cookie is called, and no, I didn't invent it) and trying really hard not to lick the spoon.

as far as my laundry, that $39 is just the washing. i brought it home to dry. and commando is awesome, i should know!

Stefani said...

Tiff you are hilarious!

BrookeandSpence said...

Cute post. I love pregnant bellies! Hopefully I can join the expanding waistline club soon. jk Love you! p.s. I am sure you will bounce back right away. You look great after three kids.

annette said...

You are so creative!!! I honestly could not figure out what you were talking about until the end. Love the new baby countdown on the sidebar too. It's so exciting!

Casey Moes said...

Blog stalker; what's up? ... Casey here. I saw your comments on our blog. I can't believe it--you have a beautiful family.
Carmen said that you were expecting again--Congratulations. I think all of our kids are pretty close in age.

Good seeing you on here. Thanks for stopping by our blog. You tell your grandma hello "de su favorito in Texas & que le quiro a ella." See you in the blog world.

Caroline said...

Sooooo funny Tiff! I couldn't figure it out till the end as well (which I'm sure was your intent you clever girl). So excited for you!