Thursday, March 18, 2010

Preschool Logic

When Mercedes was a preschooler she was trying to explain to me that her ankle hurt. Not knowing that the word "ankle" actually existed, she called it her "foot-wrist". Perfectly Logical.

Once on a family bikeride in Montery Beau pedaled as fast as he could for as long as he could. After weaving in and out of joggers, rollerbladers, and the ocassional fringe-topped surrey he decided to stop for a breather. "Wow", he said, "My heart sure is blinking!" Perfectly Logical.

Tonight Reef is courageously dealing with vomitting and diarrhea, two ailments which are unfortunately occurring at the exact same time. I've given him 3 baths in less than 1 hour. He's going through PJ's and Pull-Ups faster than the Octomom goes through Enfamil. He walked into the office and said, "Mom, we need to change my Pull-Up again. I accidentially pooped my pants." "Uh-oh. What happened? Did you throw up again?" "No. It's just this slobber poo. It keeps on leaking out." Slobber Poo. I don't know what can be more logical than that.

Stardate 63676.1 (Yes, I googled that)

In 11 days Mercedes will celebrate her 11th birthday. My water broke 2 days after her due date. (The longest 2 days ever!!) I was stashed away in a make-shift closet room that just fit a bed, an IV, and a chair. They could not give me the pitocin yet to get things going because this closet room did not have the proper monitors to watch how me and baby girl were doing. I was in there for almost 2 hours. The good nurses there at Good Samaritan Hospital apologized and informed me that it was a full moon that night and there always seemed to be more babies born during full moons. This was the topic for Mercedes' 5th Grade Science Fair project.
We called 6 hospitals but only 3 were willing to be included in the nightly phone calls. We asked 3 labor & delivery nurses their opinions on the matter and ALL 3 of them felt that the moon definitely makes a difference. They even look up at the moon when working night shifts as an indicator of how their shift will go. Interesting. (Note: The moon looks completely full for several days before and several days after a true full moon.)
Mercedes' hypothesis was "More Babies Are Born On a Full Moon". In the end, the hypothesis was wrong. The moon didn't seem to affect anything. More babies were actually born 6 days later. However, we didn't omit any scheduled inductions or C-Sections so who knows? The outcome might have been different if we had thought about that beforehand.
I, for one, would like to think that the reason for my being stuck in that room anxiously awaiting the violence & beauty of childbirth was because of something cool like it being a full moon.
After 2 gluesticks, 5 styrofoam balls, 56 tiny plastic baby bottles, and lots of black, white, pink and blue cardstock a 1st Place Ribbon winner was born. Now it's off to the County Science Fair to see what will happen next.
Good luck, Baby Girl and good job!! Full moon or not, I thank my lucky stars everyday that I have you.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Going green never felt so bad...

Leprechaun (movie, 1992)
"An Irish fairy escapes from a crate and goes on a gory quest for his 100 stolen gold coins."
Leprechaun; Back 2 Tha Hood (movie, 2003)
"A young woman and her friends incur the wrath of an evil leprechaun who will stop at nothing to protect his gold."
Leprechaun... a new 4 letter word (real life, present day)
"A Stay-at-home-mom colors a gallon of milk, turns pictures upside down, opens all kitchen cupboards and drawers, stacks couch pillows, turns chairs facing outward, and even turns the toilet water green all in an attempt to be fun & festive but unwittingly scars her 4 year old son for life when he suddenly becomes frightened of every little sound and goes ballistic at the very mention of the word, "leprechaun". The family's happiness is at stake when the mother threatens severe consequences if the "L" word is uttered one more time in the presence of the 4 year old boy. A 7 year old brother's fun comes to an abrupt end when the truth has to be unveiled about leprechauns not being real and mom reveals herself as the true culprit of the mornings events in order for 4 year old son to calm down and finally go to bed."
Somebody please remind me why we celebrate this holiday......