Monday, May 16, 2011

Civic Duties

Remember how the early bird caught the worm? That poor worm got up early, too and what good did it do him? What an ironic end to what probably started out as a beautiful, Spring day. I think it'd be fair to say that his early rise turned out to be quite an inconvenience. Well so is jury duty!!!

I'm baffled at some of my fellow citizens and their excuses as to why they can't serve.

"I'm highly claustrophobic and get anxious in enclosed spaces. I even have a hard time in the back seat of a car." (Lucky me.... this guy is Juror #4)

"I have health issues and sitting down for long periods of time makes my ankles swell and it's not good for my arthritis either." (Seriously? Judging from the way you walked in here, Ms. Cankles I'm sure sitting down for long periods of time is EXACTLY what you do all day....probably tuned in to The People's Court anyway. Why not stay awhile and experience the real thing? No? Okay, dismissed.)

"I got a problem wit' authority." (Buh-bye. Dang. That was too easy. Why didn't I think of that one?)

"I have two daughters. One is only a year and she's used to being around me all day. I just don't think I could leave her." (Hello. Meet my 10 month old son who is also used to being around his mommy all day. Sorry he's not very friendly at the moment. He's been riding around in a truck all day with his daddy so that his mother could be a responsible citizen.)

"I pretty much have a strong animosity toward Distric Attorneys. Why? Oh, because of my previous experience going to trial for narcotic abuse, narcotic posessions & narcotic sales. I think the DA likes to make things up to sound more interesting. But I guess I could be impartial and fair." (Really? What would make you think that? Oh... the narcotics. Right.)

"I really want to serve on this jury. I've been a juror before and it was a great experience. But is there any way that we could start tomorrow around 1 pm so that I can get in touch with all of my clients first?" (Sure. Because of course the Defendant and the DA and the rest of us jurors all agree that the world revolves around you. NOT! But welcome back to jury duty, Juror #11!)

"Sorry, I donta speaka English." (Unless you say something like, "Okay. This is a unique instance. I understand your situation. You're excused from this responsibility." ....I understand that phrase muy bien!!)

So I guess I'll be dropping off the social grid for a few days. I'll be missing my babies, my hubby, my laundry, my Scouts, my vacuum, my errands, my mop, my friends, my music, my business calls... to name a few. But I'll do my best and look forward to the promise of 365 days without a Jury Summons popping up in the mail. What a sarcastic "reward", this Jury Duty service. But it's one of the things that makes our country great.

Proud to be an (inconvenienced) American,
Juror #6